I could have used this two weeks ago when I preached about consumerism:

Thoughtfully, just as Jabscreen owners everywhere were running out of apps to compare – and, by extension, anything to talk about – the nice droids at Apple Castle gifted them a whole new branch of conversation: the launch of the Jabscreen 4, which apparently is miles better than a regular Jabscreen, although no one can really explain why. Its most impressive feature is this: simply by existing, it suddenly makes your existing Olde Worlde vanilla Jabscreen seem rubbish. How can you enjoy sliding the little icons around on your Jabscreen 3 when you know that if you had a Jabscreen 4, those very same icons would be slightly sharper? The answer is you can’t.

Don’t let the lolling fool you. This man is as perceptive a social critic as we have today. He probably hates when people take him seriously.

Jabscreen is his word for iPhone by the way.

Your Correspondent, More of a buzzkill than Buzz Killington.